On October 1, 2007, I created my first blog entry and named my blog Sonoma Coast Weekly. I had no idea what I was doing or how hitting publish would change my life.
Over the next seven and a half years, I would deposit my thoughts and feelings about community, family life and our adventures living on the beautiful Sonoma Coast. Writing about motherhood was a big theme for me, but I always felt a little hesitant to share. Who was I to pontificate about what it means to be a mom? Why was what I writing important or worthy of being read? Was I sacrificing my son's privacy? All of these questions swirled in my head each and every time I sat down to write and hit publish.
I struggled with what was mine to share and what belonged to my son, my family.
Last year I attended a writing retreat on Orcas Island and communed with so many wonderful creative souls who wrote poetry, music and books. The nature of their ability to wear their hearts-on-their-sleeves bolstered my creative confidence and I came home and unlocked some of the things I wanted to share with the world with my own words and art.
Last September, as my son entered the sixth grade, I noticed a shift was happening with him. That shift migrated over to me and it was beginning to alter my role as his mother, once again. As a result, I no longer felt like his experiences were mine to share here online. I'm not so sure why it took me almost a dozen years to feel this way, but this is my truth of how it went down. I have always asked permission to post photos of him but when I reflect on that notion, I realize he never fully understood the scope or consequences of saying yes to these requests; that was my job to decipher and, lately, I felt like I had done a poor job of protecting him. I'm not sure why I felt the need to share everything online, but I know that my heart was in the right place at the time when I made those decisions. I've decided to simply forgive myself and understand that this, too, was part of my journey through motherhood. Tucking away the old blog has been a process, like everything in life, but I'm ready to stop writing about our family publicly.
So that brings me to this space.
I have purposely kept it clean and simple. The words and photos I will populate this space with will be all mine. Obviously, the motherhood lens will still be one I view my life through, but I will try to step up and out of that frame to stretch myself as a woman, an artist, and a human being.
If you've read or commented on my old blog - thank you so very much. Over the years, your kindness and community has meant so much to me.
Okay. Here we go.