Sondra and I are releasing Episode 33 of The Unruffled Podcast tomorrow and it's called The Holidaze. We reminisce about the holidays and what they used to be like versus what they are like now. We each kind of did monologues and later felt like maybe that was clunky, but it is what is, as they say. I fell into a funk later that day because bringing up that stuff is hard. Worthy and necessary at times, but still hard.
I mentioned in the show that I would do a blog post sharing my Thanksgiving posts from years gone by. I've been blogging for about 10 years and I've been sober for two holiday seasons, this year will be my third. I want to mention that you will most definitely see alcohol in these older posts, so if that's a trigger for anyone, you may only want to read the 2015 and 2016 posts I share below. In looking back at these posts, I see that I tried to make drinking look so normal and appealing, but for me it was most definitely not. I always felt spiritually bankrupt at the end of the night and early the next morning. Always. It made me really sad to look at these posts and read between the lines because I know how anxiety-producing these events were for me and how these type of evenings ended up for me, too. The last seven years of my drinking was the worst for me.
But, I do not live there anymore.
I'm looking forward to the holidays this year. We have a loose plan for how things will go down and I'm definitely not going to be an anxiety-ridden hostess. I removed coffee last December and it's been almost a full year without it. It's made a HUGE difference in quelling my anxiety and I'd say I'm about 85% calmer when these type of events roll around now. I'm taking it down a few notches this year. I have to. It's all still a learning for me, but I feel sturdy and ready this year.
I used to write under an old blog called Sonoma Coast Weekly and have linked to it below. In 2015, the year I got sober, I started this blog that you are currently reading. Both are my life. My older blog was me trying so hard to live a life I was proud of, but when I look back at those posts I know I missed the mark. I framed my life beautifully in these older blog posts and while what I share is true, it's heavily edited because I was too afraid to share what I was really thinking or how I was drinking.
I hope these posts help you see that you are not alone.
- Thanksgiving 2016
- Thanksgiving 2015 - my first sober holiday. We quietly celebrated at home with just my husband, son and myself. We dialed it WAY back and it was simple and sweet. And, guess what? I did not blog about it.
- And while I didn't post about Thanksgiving, per se, in 2015, I did blog about my 10th Month Sobriety Milestone in 2015 a few weeks after the big holiday.
- The Valley Ford Pie Auction Pre-Thanksgiving 2014
- Thanksgiving 2013
- Thanksgiving 2012
- Thanksgiving Eve 2011, as well as the week of Thanksgiving 2011.
- Faux Thanksgiving 2010 spent at home a few weeks before the actual day, followed up by the real Thanksgiving 2010 spent with Kacy and her family camping under the 91 Freeway in Southern California.
- Thanksgiving 2009
- Thanksgiving 2007 this blog post written by Steve, which I had totally forgotten about. I was new to blogging and we were trying to keep our families updated about our lives. I'm including it as a way to catalog my past, but you might want to gloss over this one.
That's it friends. I'm working hard on staying grounded this week. I'm about to head off with my family to attend a holiday harvest party and toy drive for the local kids in Bodega Bay. Later tonight, I'll map out my plan for the week on paper with grocery lists and finalize the menu plan for Thursday. I'll hit as many 12-step meetings as I can this week and write my gratitude lists to help center my day.
Wishing you all a wonderful, peaceful week with your loved ones.