I hit an emotional wall this week. I have experienced moments of getting stuck throughout this project, but all of a sudden the enormity of the emotions that have been building up over these past 15 weeks has finally gotten to a point of eruption. I need to step away from documenting the project and just get back into the work without the distraction of documenting my progress.
This will be my last post about all of my works-in-progress until the show opens. To that end, I have added an event link on my website sharing the details about the opening reception on June 8th at Lawson Galleries in Guerneville, California. You can read more about it here.
Last weekend, I returned to Bodega Bay and spent the weekend with dear friends at a vacation rental home in the community of Bodega Harbour. The bulk of my drinking career happened in Bodega Bay during the years I owned and operated my wine bar business in town. This township, this place, is the beginning of the end for me and holds a lot of painful memories related to my drinking and self-destruction.
It was a good thing my girlfriends were here to help keep me distracted from any feelings of melancholy. Instead, we walked on the beach, made art, watched Beyonce's Lemonade album, soaked in the hot tub, cooked, cared for one another and drank a boatload of La Croix.
It was exactly what I needed.
They hit the spot.
I returned home feeling filled up and re-entry was a piece of cake on Monday.
Tuesday, however, was an entirely different story. Real life obligations and deadlines slapped me i the face and I had a major anxiety attack on the way to my therapist's office. Life is funny this way, you know? Just when I think I'm all blissed out...BAM! Out of the blue, anxiety shows me who's boss.
I'm retreating for the next few weeks and digging into the remaining paintings that need to be reconciled. I finished one large format painting (above) and think it's DONE.
I'm close to calling it a day on this one (below). Just sharing a small section of it here with you. It gave me trouble this week, but my professor helped me find a way back in by using oil sticks. I loved using them. Very freeing. Great advice from her, as always.
Ten more paintings need my attention before I can wrap up the Valley Ford Series. It sounds like a lot, but they are in various stages of completion so they should come together over the next few weeks without too much trouble...unless I overthink them...which I have been known to do...
I have completed 12 out of the 25 small works on paper needed to finalize the studies I'm creating on paper as part of the Bodega Bay body of work.
I'm working hard to wrap up all of the above-mentioned paintings and studies before the last day of school on May 23rd. Wish me luck.
Thanks for following along. I'm going to be quiet for a little while and paint with my whole self - my heart, body + mind - and see what is born from my efforts.